Sorry for the delay in responding, my new job is keeping me hopping.

I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. I’m praying for you.

I think you are doing the right thing in having faith that God will work things out. Your husband may or may not come back, I don’t know. You can’t force him to, nor will God force him to. But God can definitely work on him and change his heart to make the right decision.

You can only do your part of not quitting, trusting God (that He will take care of you no matter what happens), praying for your husband, and continuing to love him. Remember also that your relationship (or lack of one) with someone else does not define you. Your relationship with God is what defines you. And God loves you.

Lastly, keep in mind that I’m not a counselor:) I hope that helps some Christine.

Please forgive the delayed response.

I applaud your efforts to be financially responsible. While it’s very nice of your in-laws to let you stay with them, I’m sure it is difficult situation. Whether it’s a good or bad situation, living with one of the spouse’s parents can definitely cause some tension.

It’s good that all of you are Christians. That makes things a bit easier.
I have not been in that situation, so I can’t speak from direct experience. But my advice would be to operate in love (God’s love) and think of them first.

How do you do that? Try adapting to some of their ways for daily life. Think of how they may appreciate seeing you adapt to their lifestyle, instead of them trying to work around you. Put their needs first.
Imagine the brownie points you may get from them and your husband when they see how hard you are trying. Of course, that’s not the main reason for doing it:)

Also, to fight off the animosity, find some scriptures that pertain to operating in love and say them out loud throughout the day (not necessarily when they are around:). Start with Phil 4:13 and being positive that the situation and your attitude about it will get better and better each day. As you do that, God’s Word about the situation will take root in your heart and begin to change it.

Lastly, remember that you can’t change someone else. Only God can. Do your part and what you can to operate in love and everyone around you will start reacting differently to that.

Another thought is that if the situation is putting stress on the marriage, you may want to pray about you and your husband renting your own small place. While this may make having your own home a longer term goal, it may be healthier for the relationship, which is hard enough during the first few years.

I don’t know the details of what you’re going through, so I hope this helped a little.

Thanks for the offer of help. The only thing I can think of is to please spread the word about the site:)

Sorry for the delay.

Wow, I’m getting some deep questions on this post.

I don’t know all the details, but it sounds like a dangerous situation that you (and your kids, if you have them) are in. Sometimes it’s beneficial to distance oneself from those types of situations until things are corrected. But like I’ve said in my “about us” page, I’m not a counselor or licensed professional. What I say is a combination of my opinion and (hopefully) leading from the Holy Spirit.

That being said, you should re-evaluate your relationship with your counselor. If you’ve been going to the same one for the past 6 years and the anger issues have not changed, then it may be time for a change. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results.

Also, is your counselor a Christian that uses the Bible as the basis and foundation for the counseling? If not, seek out one that does.

Your living in constant fear is not God’s best for you, your marriage, or your husband. It sounds like you’re seeking God, but also remember to ask Him for peace and freedom from that fear, because it’s not possible to be a “perfect” wife. And constantly keep Psalm 34:4 in your mind and saying it out loud.

Lastly, if you haven’t already, check out my (article series on anger). At this point, it really sums up the extent of my knowledge on the subject.

I hope that helps a little.

Sorry for the delayed response. I’ve been taking a little holiday time.

It’s good that you recognize where the problem lies. Once people come to the conclusion that they, not someone else, are the problem, they basically fall into one of these two groups:

1) I’m the problem, woe is me, I guess that’s just who I am and I’ll never change.

2) Now that I know that I’m the problem, I’m going to do something about it…whatever it takes and God will bring me through it.

Decide which group you’re in. If it’s group #1, then defeat is inevitable.

If it’s group #2, then there is hope. Now it’s time to do the “whatever it takes.” For that, here are a couple of options:

1) Get counseling. Not just any counselor, but a Christian counselor that primarily uses God’s word with their clients. Beware of the “counselor that just happens to be a Christian” that doesn’t use God’s word. We’ve been down that path, and it was not a helpful experience. Pray about the decision with your husband.

2) If you don’t want to start there, then maybe check out my ebook “7 Keys to Unlocking Success in Your Marriage” at http://www.marriagesuccesskeys.com . In my ebook I talk about change and what each individual can do as their part in having a Godly marriage.

Just don’t give up and remember Mark 9:23 and 2 Corinthians 2:14. I hope that helps somewhat.

Unfortunately there is no quick and easy answer for your question.

First, I would suggest praying about it, specifically asking God to both work in your husband to get a place for you and your daughter, and in bringing peace to your relationship with your in-laws.

Second, talk to your husband in a loving and calm manner about the situation and why you need a separate place. And in regards to getting a place, is that something that you can do the legwork on getting something lined up while getting your husband’s agreement in that?

Remember, you can’t make someone do something, but through wisdom from God and the right words from the Holy Spirit, you and your husband can work this out.

I hope this short answer helped a little.

Have a blessed day.