Your Marriage Can Be Resurrected

It’s Easter…when we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

But before He was resurrected on Sunday, Jesus had to go through Friday of pain and suffering and Saturday of death.

Many husbands and wives are sitting in the middle of their Friday or Saturday when it comes to marriage. There is a lot of pain and suffering or the relationship seems dead.

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The Dream Marriage 3: Keeping It

Previously, we’ve talked about renewing your desire to have a great marriage and how to work at doing what God’s asked you to do to move closer to that dream marriage.

Now it’s time to realize that having the dream marriage is not a destination, but a journey. There is never going to come a day where you wake up and say “wow, I’ve arrived at a great marriage, I’m done.”

You’re not done. The great marriage relationship is a journey. It’s a process that needs maintenance to keep from slipping back down into mediocrity.

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The Dream Marriage 2: Getting It

Last time we talked about the first step towards a dream marriage, which was to believe it’s possible and to rekindle your desire for it.

Now it’s time to take another step towards achieving that great marriage.

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The Dream Marriage: Desiring It

Admit it…you want a great marriage.

No wife grew up thinking “I can’t wait to get into a miserable marriage.” And no husband got married thinking “I’m looking forward to this marriage becoming a huge weight around my neck.”

But all too often, that’s what the marriage relationship turns into.

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The Number One Problem in Marriage

What have you probably heard is the number one problem in marriage?

Often cited as the number one problem is the lack of communication.

I don’t believe that’s the case. It’s a problem, but not the main problem. The lack of communication is purely a symptom of a deeper problem.

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Marriage Article – Dealing With Anger In Your Marriage

As a follow up to my recent Anger Management in Marriage series, I’ve compiled that information into a single marriage article around the area of dealing with anger in marriage.

You can check it out at one of the following article directories.

Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment either here or at the article page.

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A Testament of Endurance: Celebrating Another Marriage Anniversary

It’s hard to believe…another year of marriage. My wife and I celebrated our 14th marriage anniversary this month. Time has certainly flown by.

We were blessed with a gift card to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse, so we were able to have a wonderful anniversary dinner out. My mouth is watering just thinking about it, so I’m going to stop now.

The road to year 14 hasn’t always been easy. We’ve had to endure some hard times and even thoughts of divorce.

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Anger Management in Marriage 3: Biblically Dealing with Anger

Last time we talked about how people typically deal with anger towards their husband or wife.

So now what are some Biblical ways to deal with anger in marriage? Here are some brief ways to begin.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)

1) Admit to yourself and God that you are angry. There’s no reason for denying it. Plus, as you get it out in the open, you’ll be better prepared to deal with it.

2) Don’t yield to your feelings. If you think you may say or do something that you’ll regret, walk away from the situation until you have control over your emotions. Take a deep breath to bring your physical reactions to anger under control. Realize that YOU are totally responsible for your own actions.

3) Whether the wrong committed against you was real or perceived, intentional or accidental, bring the offense to God and forgive your spouse. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for you. As you get in the habit of actually forgiving your spouse, your anger will lead you into sin less often.

4) Don’t give the devil a foothold by dwelling on the offense. If you’ve forgiven your husband or wife, quit replaying the situation over in your mind. Otherwise, not only will you cause those angry feelings to come back, but you will give the devil the opportunity to add fuel to the fire by telling you how evil your spouse is. This will only serve to send you back to square one, negating any progress you’ve made.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

Now you have some information to recognize how you may be unhealthily dealing with your anger and some recommendations to begin to deal with your anger in a healthy way.

If you’ve let your anger lead you into sin in the past, ask God to forgive you and let it go. You can’t control what you’ve done in the past, but you can control what you do now and in the future. Start preparing now for the next time you get angry, because the time will come again when you’ll need to deal with it. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you control yourself and diffuse the anger without sinning.

And remember Luke 1:37 “For nothing is impossible with God.”

The three posts in the Anger Management in Marriage series are:

  1. Introduction
  2. Poor Ways of Dealing with Anger
  3. Biblically Dealing with Anger

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Anger Management in Marriage 2: Poor Ways of Dealing with Anger

In the first post, I talked about how everyone eventually gets angry at their spouse, whether it’s over something large or small.

This time we’ll talk about how people typically deal with their anger.

First off, know that the anger itself is not a sin…it’s what you do with it and how you respond to it that can potentially be classified as sin.

I’m not going to over-complicate this post. Generally, there are two ways that people deal with anger.

Many people internalize their feelings of anger. They pretend that nothing is wrong, while pushing any anger that comes back inside. But in trying to avoid dealing with it, unforgiveness and bitterness take root, gradually poisoning their marriage. Turning it inward doesn’t deal with the anger; instead it’s allowed to build up over time. Eventually it results in a blowup or in slowly killing the relationship.

Others externalize it. They turn their anger outward, towards their spouse, kids, or anyone else who gets in their line of fire. They let their feelings lead them to hurt others, either verbally or physically. Many of these people profess that they just “couldn’t control themselves.” This is a person that’s controlled by their emotions, instead of being in control of their emotions. These people will continue to physically or verbally abuse their spouses or kids as long as they can get away with it.

Now, take that same “out of control” person and put them up next to a 300 pound linebacker. Do you think they would control themselves enough to keep from slapping that linebacker around? Oh yeah, because they know they couldn’t get away with that…not without some pretty hefty consequences.

We should never let our feelings of anger cause us to get “out of control.”

Do you fall into one of these categories? Do you internalize or externalize your anger?

Next time I’ll give you some recommendations on Biblically dealing with your anger in your marriage.

The three posts in the Anger Management in Marriage series are:

  1. Introduction
  2. Poor Ways of Dealing with Anger
  3. Biblically Dealing with Anger

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Anger Management in Marriage

At some point, everyone gets angry at their spouse. It could be over something minor like leaving the cap off of the toothpaste, something on a larger scale like their disrespecting you in front of other people, or something much worse.

In marriage, the potential for anger is greater than in other relationships just by the nature of being in such close proximity to someone so often. Your husband or wife will eventually do something that gets on your nerves.

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