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Who sharpen their tongue like a sword, And bend their bows to shoot their arrows—bitter words.
Psalm 64:3 (NKJV)
Picture this. Carrying a bow and some arrows, you walk into a room full of people. You then start shooting arrows all over the room. Some of those arrows hit the wall. Some hit the furniture. But some hit the other people. You look over to see one of those arrows sticking out of the chest of your spouse. You cry out that you didn’t mean to. You were just shooting around and weren’t planning on hitting anyone. But you did. And now they’re badly hurt. That arrow is out there and you can’t bring it back.
Your words can be like those arrows in that they can be devastating. People are hurt by words that are thoughtlessly spoken as much as words that are said with the intent to harm. And like those arrows, you can’t take them back. They’re already out there. Those wounds can take a long time to heal. Many people are still hurting from words that were said years earlier.
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What have you probably heard is the number one problem in marriage?
Often cited as the number one problem is the lack of communication.
I don’t believe that’s the case. It’s a problem, but not the main problem. The lack of communication is purely a symptom of a deeper problem.
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The holiday season spanning from Thanksgiving through Christmas is a stressful time for many.
Instead of taking the time to enjoy our families and what each of these holidays actually represent, we spend most of it worrying about the many things that need to get done. Buying presents, planning and cooking meals, coordinating the visit to someone’s house, or preparing for everyone to come to our houses, the list goes on.
It seems like another job instead of a time of celebration. By the time it’s all done, we’re just wiped out and thankful it’s over.
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Today we went to a wedding for a couple from our church. It’s been a long time since we’ve been to a wedding and it was the first wedding that our kids have been to. Having recently celebrated our 15th anniversary, most of our friends have long since been married.
The wedding we went to today was very nice. Everyone could tell how much the bride and groom truly adored each other. And the ceremony itself was very deliberately focused on God being a part of the union and that with Him at the lead, the marriage would be strong.
While sitting in the church, watching the couple exchange vows, a few things came to mind.
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It’s Easter…when we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
But before He was resurrected on Sunday, Jesus had to go through Friday of pain and suffering and Saturday of death.
Many husbands and wives are sitting in the middle of their Friday or Saturday when it comes to marriage. There is a lot of pain and suffering or the relationship seems dead.
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Previously, we’ve talked about renewing your desire to have a great marriage and how to work at doing what God’s asked you to do to move closer to that dream marriage.
Now it’s time to realize that having the dream marriage is not a destination, but a journey. There is never going to come a day where you wake up and say “wow, I’ve arrived at a great marriage, I’m done.”
You’re not done. The great marriage relationship is a journey. It’s a process that needs maintenance to keep from slipping back down into mediocrity.
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Last time we talked about the first step towards a dream marriage, which was to believe it’s possible and to rekindle your desire for it.
Now it’s time to take another step towards achieving that great marriage.
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Admit it…you want a great marriage.
No wife grew up thinking “I can’t wait to get into a miserable marriage.” And no husband got married thinking “I’m looking forward to this marriage becoming a huge weight around my neck.”
But all too often, that’s what the marriage relationship turns into.
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That romantic day of the year is here again. And if you’re like me, it may have snuck up on you.
To me it seems to come too quickly after Christmas. But then again, maybe spouses need to restart the romance after the stress that tends to come with the Christmas holidays.
Valentine’s Day is a great day to do something nice and romantic for your spouse. But even better than limiting it to that one day, it’s a great starting point to begin a round of year long romance.
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It’s the time of year when we all start thinking about the goals we’d like to accomplish in the new year. Maybe some of those goals are to lose weight, quit smoking, start exercising, get promoted, or make more money.
Unfortunately, many times, having better relationships doesn’t even cross our minds. We think something like marriage is just going to take care of itself, without making a conscious effort to really work at it.
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Is Your Marriage on Your New Year’s Resolutions List?Read More »